What if I am Wrong?

The Thinker

What if I am wrong? I have been thinking about this a lot recently. What if what I believe to be true is wrong?  

How does my thinking and actions affect my life? Is this a significant problem if I am wrong, or will it merely be a setback with my plans?

What if I was wrong to start my company. What was the worse thing which could happen? I left a job, which I had outgrown, but paid me fairly. I would lose this stability, but I was also going to leave anyway. If the company did not/does not work, I will have gained a lot of experience and will go back to working for someone else. Continue reading “What if I am Wrong?”

Mom Feelings

Today, as I sit in my kitchen trying to work, I am overwhelmed with mom feelings. This overwhelm happens each time a significant change is about to happen. Today, my son and his girlfriend are leaving the cottage and heading back to Wisconsin.

I have written before how this pandemic has given me strange blessings. And having my son under the same roof for the past four months has been one of them. He is 25 years old, and I knew several years ago I would never live with him again. All a part of raising kids is knowing someday, they move on with their lives. And they permanently move out of their childhood home.

I know he will be back on holidays. I know he will return to our cottage for long weekends next summer. But to live with me, that won’t happen. Continue reading “Mom Feelings”

Missing Out

Boy on Dock

FOMO or the fear of missing out has taken over the country. I have no other explanation for why it appears; otherwise, rational people would lose their shit. And to be honest, I fully include myself in this!

I always thought I wouldn’t fall into this trap. I love Instagram, but I don’t have this oh my gosh, their lives are so much better than mine thing when I am on it. I genuinely love looking at well-shot pictures, pictures of amazing places on earth, photos of great food, and fun!

It isn’t that my life is fantastic, it is just that I was, I guess, content where things were. I have a decent life: a mom, entrepreneur, daughter, sister, friend, no complaints.

And then the pandemic hit our country, and everything stopped. Everything stopped, but the fear of myself or someone I love getting Covid-19. I learned everything I could about this disease. We eased into our new lives of hanging out at home, getting groceries delivered, and staring at each other’s faces. Continue reading “Missing Out”

Early Morning Quiet

Mug on Dock

It is early on Friday morning, and all is quiet in my home. There are no other sounds, but the sounds of the ceiling fans whirling. The occasional sound of the refrigerator humming and the birds chirping outside.

These moments are all mine.

Mine with a big mug of coffee or two. But they are still all mine. There is no one talking to me. No outside thoughts, at least none that I don’t bring into my mornings. Just quiet.

Some mornings I get right to work. Marking things right off my to-do list. Some mornings I allow myself to get distracted by reading emails. Looking at social media, or plunging into cleaning up the kitchen. (Which somehow looks like a party happened while I was sleeping.)

This morning, the kitchen is clean. The house is quiet. Continue reading “Early Morning Quiet”

Stolen Moments

Girl with a frog

The blessing of stolen moments. The past few months have been strange and different. Life was put on pause. Work, school, and events were canceled. Lives have been lost. Injustices have been brought to light. And in the midst of all of this, I discovered I was blessed with time with my children.

Last night, I went on a brief after-dinner walk. As we were making our way back to our home, my son’s girlfriend asked, when was the last time you had the chance to spend time with your oldest two children.

I thought about it because there have been times over the past 25 years where I have had one-on-one time with just the two of them. As a parent, most of the time we spend with our children end after they graduate from high school. So time spent with adult children is increasingly rare.

Just time with my oldest two, I might have to reach back to 1998, the year my third child was born. Continue reading “Stolen Moments”

New Year – New Decade

New Year New Decade Planning

It’s a new year and a new decade.  The social feeds are full of pictures of friends, family and celebrities looking back 10 years.  What their lives were like 10 years ago.  Everyone is looking back to look forward, so I thought I would do the same.

My life was completely different 10 years ago.  I was a stay at home mom helping my husband launch his company.  My children were aged 14, 13, 11 and 7.  The pre-high school years – I may have blocked out some of this! Continue reading “New Year – New Decade”

Monday Morning Chaos

Room during mid painting

Creation sure looks a lot like destruction. 

I’m not sure if it is because I am more focused on creating this year or because this time of year I just want to hibernate.  But I have been restless and feeling the urge to nest.

Nesting isn’t something which I have felt this strongly since I had my last child.  Seventeen years ago! But I have a strong sense of needing to organize, clean and redo spaces in my home. Continue reading “Monday Morning Chaos”

Showing Up

running shoes

There is something about the winter months in Michigan, which just make me want to hibernate.  I’m not sure if it is the after holiday blues, the short days, the gray skies, the painfully cold weather, the fact my sister died in January, but I just seem to stop showing up in my life.

It kind of seems strange you could not show up in your own life.  I mean, you wake up as yourself, how do you not live your life. Continue reading “Showing Up”

Quiet

Quiet Morning Sun Rise

With a quick hug and I love you, my son walked out the door.  He has been back in our home for the past month, but it was time to head home to Madison.

It is strange, how you slowly get used to one more person in the house.  The extra clothes lying around the house.  The way the groceries disappear a little faster.  The television constantly being on in one room or another.  The extra loads of laundry needing to be done. Continue reading “Quiet”