Showing Up

There is something about the winter months in Michigan, which just make me want to hibernate.  I’m not sure if it is the after holiday blues, the short days, the gray skies, the painfully cold weather, the fact my sister died in January, but I just seem to stop showing up in my life.

It kind of seems strange you could not show up in your own life.  I mean, you wake up as yourself, how do you not live your life.

Yet, for the past few weeks, my to-do list goes undone.  I may do a few items on it, but then I just stop.

I’m not talking about; do the laundry, go grocery shopping, pay the bills types of tasks.  I’m talking about the real life items.  Go running.  Spend time with friends.  Have real conversations with your kids.  Stay awake past 7:00 pm.  Eat real food.  Play.  Read.

What’s more, why do those things even need to go on a list?

(Well, I have been reading, but I think reading may be just another escape from my life.)

I have been deep down tired. And I am tired of being tired.  I know if I do the things on my real to do list, I will be less tired, but I just don’t do them.  My intention is to do them each day.  I write them down as a reminder these things are important to me.  Not surface important, but soul deep important.

So, today I am braving the outside to go to the gym.  Which is never a fun thing to do in January.  January is when people like me show back up again.  It is going to be crazy busy there.  

When I get done at the gym, I will call my mom.  Reach out again to my son, in Wisconsin.  Spend sometime talking to my children who are still living in my house.

I will spend sometime playing.  Maybe I will do a puzzle.   I will take my camera out for an excursion.

I will also spend sometime working on my own business.  Not the fun stuff.  But the deep down work.  The stuff no one will see, but notice all the same time.

Today, I vow to beat the January blues.  It may only be 6 degrees, but this is this warmest day for a while, I am heading out of the house. 🙂

Today, I am showing back up in my life.  Knowing I deserve to live this life.  Knowing I wasn’t made to be small, quiet and reserved in my own life.

I only get one life, it is time I unapologetically showed back up in it.


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.